As a child I was sexually assaulted by a lot of people, I felt dirty. I did not understand why this was happening to me.
My mother was on drugs, and always angry, but when she had her good days, they were magical.
Living on the streets, dumpster diving with my mother for food, then after several more years of abuse I attempted suicide.
In and out of foster homes, and group homes where more physical and sexual abuse took place, I jumped at the opportunity to be with Men who claimed they loved me (to rescue me). There was a man in his mid to late 30's who forced himself on me claiming this was love, but it was not as I just turned 14.
I later met a boy in high school who was in foster care as well, we were both broken by our past trying to love each other, playing house, and having children; with no trust, just shattered lives trying to piece ourselves back together with no puzzle map.
We were two kids, having kids, no education, both victims of physical and sexual assault hating each other yet loving each other not knowing what to do. In and out of shelters, a victim of domestic violence, we lost everything, living out of hotels, yet still broken and toxic for one another, we still had each other, as we desperately craved belonging and love.
Are we a label? Some might say yes, but we say No.
A label holds us back, prevents us from growing. Through this jagged road called life we stand at this cliff mountain with no way down, however, we learned our past does not define us.
What happened to us was NOT okay, but we made it, because of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Both shattered, broken, and hopeless foster kids, victims of physical and sexual assault, and through the grace of God all of our children have graduated high school, and are in college; we own a home, have bank accounts, and go on vacations. Are we rich, No... Are we normal? ... What is Normal? .... Are we a Label? No
We overcame obstacles which we understand are always going to be a part of life, we know failure is okay and that it is a beautiful life-changing experience! It's how we choose to accept, grow, and move forward is what truly defines us!
YOU are NOT a label, pick yourself up, don’t let others or negative self-talk tell you what you can't do, or what you won't become.
YOU are special, you can become anything you want, just don’t give up!
Change does not happen overnight, and yes change is hard work, but never stop trying, never give up, keep picking yourself back up and keep moving forward. Trust me it’s worth it, and you are not alone as your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is there to hold you up when you are weak, nurse you back to health so you can hold his hand and continue to walk with him for the rest of your life.
Life will always have jagged roads and cliff mountains with no way down, but with Jesus anything is possible, never lose sight of that.